Robert is 6 months old! I can't give his stats just yet because his dr. appointment is scheduled for next week (Dr. Enders is out this week on spring break). I can say that the little Mr. is sitting up like a champ, standing when is suits him, pulling on everything, and generally being a delight to all he surveys. He's a keeper and I can't believe his "half-birthday" has already come and gone!
Last Wednesday we had MOPS and I learned a lot about my children's personality types and how to love on each of them separately. William currently loves words of encouragement and seeks validation through what I say to him. Robert is currently a cuddle-r, and he just loves to be held and smiled on. Sweet Boys! Robert started sitting up really well last Wednesday and had only improved since then. He's so proud of himself and gets so excited he still falls over occasionally, but it's adorable. Wednesday William had his first "sleepover"... well almost. Angel called me from work and told me that they were transporting one of her employees to the emergency room and she had to go with her. Austin was heading to UT to take a test and Ranger's babysitter was heading to Ash Wednesday, so I gladly volunteered Francis to go pick Ranger up. Ranger and William had a blast and Francis and I had a turn at having three kids. It wasn't bad at all, but all three boys were on their best behavior. We fed them, bathed them, and even put them to bed (Ranger on an air mattress in William's room) before Angel was able to come pick him up. My favorite part was watching the boys on the monitor hold hands while in bed and saying, "You still there?" "Yes, you still there?" "wow it's dark." "But we're safe." ....and so on. They knew I could hear them but didn't care. these are such fun days.
Thursday we had Moms bible study and then came back for a late nap. I've moved both the boys' afternoon naps to 2 instead of 12:30 and it seems to be working out well and is by far much less stressful. Just before nap, William helped me make BBQ chicken for dinner in the crock pot. He is loving cooking and always asks what recipe we need and which ingredients we will use. He poured all the stuff in and turned it on. My goodness was it good when we had it for dinner. I might let William cook every night! Robert and William are playing together more and more each day which is a mixed blessing. Robert is much more intentional with the toys he wants, and sometimes William doesn't want to share. Robert really wanted to play with William's 'mike the knight' horse and little catapult. He'd wait until William was done and then reach and pick it up. William kept taking them away, and we finally had a conversation that unless it isn't safe for Robert, he can play with it if you aren't. William is not a fan of asking Robert for toys back, but he is getting much much better!
Last Friday the boys and I went to Lakeline Mall with Arlene and her daughter Caitlyn. We shopped and William and Caitlyn played on the playground. I actually got a lot of my shopping done and felt like I accomplished something. Arlene got new tennis shoes, so it was a win of a trip! Well, when I got home, I tried for an hour to get the boys to sleep but they weren't going to play ball... William kept telling me he needed a hair cut and that we should go. I finally gave in, and we packed up the car and headed to snip-its. The lady took pictures of William's hair to use in a seminar this week of "how to handle cow licks". My boy's a model! hehe. Well, traffic was horrible since it was the beginning of Spring break, so we hung around there until we had dinner with Francis, Seth, Arlene and Caitlyn at Longhorn Steakhouse. The company was wonderful and the food delicious. The streak continues though, my steak was very overcooked, and they had to take it back. One of these days I'll get to eat with everyone else. At least my food was free!
Saturday Francis, the boys and I spent the entirety of the morning and part of the afternoon picking out a bike for William. It will be his first bike and we wanted to get a good one. Well, we got it home and realized the back tire was not just deflated but blown out so we had to take it back Sunday after church. It feels like we wasted a day, but at least we were all together!
Sunday after church we did exchange the bike and got the only functioning bike in the store that was his size: a Lighting McQueen Cars bike. William loves it, but has not quite mastered the peddling. He'll get there! It rained all day so he only got to try it around the house.
Monday was Little Gym day, but more importantly, Robert turned 6 months!!!! After William's class, we decided to have a picnic and play at the Play for All Abilities Park nearby with Arlene, Morgan, Kara and their children. It was the most perfect weather, and except for an excessive amount of bees, I have no complaints. We made it back in time for Robert's class and skipped practice time in pursuit of some sunshine. Robert had a blast and I got to see him participate in gym like he hasn't before. So fun!!!
Tuesday, the boys and I met Kara and her twin 2 1/2 year old boys at Pfluger park for a little play date. I didn't even know the had a toddle playground (It's kind of hidden) so William got to explore the new playground with his friends. After a picnic lunch, the boys and I did some grocery shopping. We got everything done and still made it home for nap! The boy decided napping was not on their agenda and so after a while, I gave up and we played. At 6:15 after dinner William told me he was tired and went upstairs and put on his pajamas. Both boys were in bed asleep by 7:30! Will wonders never cease!?
Wednesday I cleaned the upstairs in my house while William played quietly and entertained Robert. William is really mature beyond his years and as a reward when I was done and we had had lunch, I let him pick where we would go. His choice? Well first he picked the park, but after 20 minutes of playing in the cold wind, we were done. So he picked the Mall! we went and just walked around and shopped. William got a cookie and then he played on the coin slot rides. And he was so happy!!! He didn't even want to go to the mall playground, he wanted to "walk around and look at things". I may have a shopping buddy after all! Robert loved the coin rides too and sat in a cat for the longest steering the wheel and pressing the buttons. it gave me a look into what 16-year-old Robert will look like and I am so not ready. He's a cutie though and I finally broke down and put coins in the car so both boys could ride. It was such a fun day!
Today was picture day. I carted the boys up to good old Portrait Innovations and we got out of there in record time. The guys was efficient and they cut out a lot of the trying to sell me stuff I don't want. Robert and William were better than I could have dreamed, and while we waited for the pictures to be printed, I took the boys to Cici's pizza for lunch. William ate a lot, but his favorite part was the dessert Pizza. It was a great trip and I now have a new favorite photo of William and Robert! Yay!
In closing I have to say something...my heart has been aching all week for the kids who's parents both work full time and can't be with them over spring break. I've been seeing them everywhere we go, left to the care of nannies, babysitters and day cares, being watched by people who will never love them like their parents. I see the kids in contrast who are having a day out with mom or dad and the difference is night and day. The joy on their face is immeasurable. I will never trade anything for the job I've chosen: Mom. The days go by so quickly and I can't get them back. I want my kids to know I raised them and loved them and valued them enough to invest in their lives. I'm not judging anyone. I know some parents have no choice in the matter. I just know I never want my kids to have the look of "I can't wait for mommy to get off work to come get me" that I've seen this week. It's heartbreaking. The worst was a kid who was being friendly with William and Robert in the elevator at the mall. The girl in the elevator with him smiled awkwardly and said, "He's 5. I'm his daycare worker. His mom's paying me extra to watch him this week. He's a handful." She said this in front of the kid. I wanted to remind her that he could hear her, but I don't know that it would have mattered. No amount of money or quality education is going to replace my love and time spent with them. I pray to never take it for granted. Thank you for letting me share my heart.
Until next time!
I have to say, I know you think you're "not judging" in your last paragraph, but OH MY, you lack self-awareness. I realize that as an infertile person, I may be sensitive to "mommy war" type stuff, but this is just... ridiculous. You can tell the nannied children by their sad faces? Because you can tell who a child is with at a glance? BS. Even if you could somehow read parental relationships by sight, you have no clue what is causing any child - no matter who they're with - to be happy or sad. You come off as disgustingly smug and completely lacking in understanding that people can choose another way of handling child care that can be positive for their family. Being able to be a stay at home mom is not something to take for granted, I agree, but you come off as INCREDIBLY superior to those who can't/don't make the same choice.
ReplyDeleteI have spent a whole day contemplating your comment. I wish you knew me to know my not judging was in earnest, and in my writing I realize I over simplified what I saw and heard for the sake of brevity. I am not going to pull the "you're not a parent" card because that is cruel and insensitive, and I genuinely think you are trying to understand or you would not have taken the time to write a stranger. I don't know what to address first. I suppose I will start by saying I take no part in the "mommy wars" and would never condemn any person for a choice that they feel led to make. I am far from perfect (just ask my kids and husband) and I struggle on a daily basis with my own constant and glaring insufficiencies. I cry some nights (and days) fretting over the fact that I don't financially contribute to this household. And there are days I envy that my husband can "leave work at the office" while my job is literally 24/7 as I have two children who don't sleep through the night. If you knew me at all, I am the first to be hard on myself. This is why I take your criticism so seriously and have given what I said serious thought. For that, I thank you.
ReplyDeleteI didn't write everything I overheard and saw last week. I say overheard, because I am usually so wrapped up in my own chaos that noticing someone else is not remotely on my to do list. But God opened my heart and my eyes this past week. I heard so many children on fun outings with daycare groups who asked when they got to go home and expressed their boredom. I mean I heard it at least 10 times in different locations. I heard a kid call a nanny mommy. The nanny responded, "I'm not your mommy, I'm your nanny." The kid said, "You're more my mommy than anybody. I never see my mom." ? Came to find out the woman had only been her nanny for 5 months and was heading off to school in the fall. The girl was not even three years old. This is what started my whole train of thought. On the flip side, I heard a kid tell her mom, "This is the best day ever," and they were just at Build a bear at the mall....not exactly Disneyworld, but it didn't matter. and that's not even mentioning the young children I saw being dropped off at the mall by their mom (three kids under 10) whose mom said that she'd be back after work. I would have totally taken them to the food court and bought them ice cream or something and hung out with them if it wouldn't have seemed creepy. And to be fair, I feel equally sad for the parents who are missing out on having a fun time with their kids. I have so much fun with my kids, and I wish they could too!
ReplyDeleteIn my original post, I was speaking only of Spring break. One week that kids are out of school. I have wonderful memories of traditions with my mom and sisters that happen every spring break even to this day. These kids don't get to reminisce with a parent about Spring break 2014 and the day car provider or nanny will likely not be there in 20 years to talk about it either.
If you were the kid, who would you rather be with on spring break? Your mom or a nanny? Unless you have a terrible parent, most people pick mom. I realize this is not possible for everyone, but I so wish it could be!!!
I am so grateful to my husband and to God that I am able to witness my kids first steps, hear their first words and teach them about the world each day. Do I think staying home is the better option? Yes, or I wouldn't have chosen it. But I can't and won't impose it on anyone. I have plenty of mom friends who work part or full time, and I would never bash them over the head for it!
Again I appreciate your input, and I hope I have explained myself a little more clearly. I love (and respect) mommies and kids everywhere. I want wonderful family time for them, and Spring Break seems a great time to get some of that in whenever possible. It's hard to hear kids ask for mommy no matter the circumstance.
Finally, I know I don't know you, but I pray that if it is your desire to have children, that God would provide either a biological or adoptive child for you to love. Infertility is horribly painful. I would not wish it on anyone. I cannot begin to know your pain or struggles, but I pray you find comfort when you need it. If you want to chat more, please let me know. I really do listen! :)
^Sorry, I wrote too much and had to split it up! I guess I'm too wordy.
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