It was Saturday, and Andrew was only 19 hours old. How could this be happening? After receiving the shock that they were taking Andrew to the NICU because he was breathing too fast, my eyes welled up. I tried to be strong though. They let us keep him long enough for the kids to get to hold him one more time and then they wheeled him down the hall. Those moments of waiting were....indescribable. Finally a doctor I didn't know came in and introduced himself as Andrew's attending physician. He explained that Andrew was breathing 100 times per minute (60 or less is normal) and that they would be keeping him in the NICU for at least overnight. Despite my best effort, I lost it. Francis looked panicked too. The doctor was kind and said we could come visit any time we wanted. This was not as much comfort as it should have been because I was hardly able to sit up in bed and had only stood once momentarily. The wheelchair ride was excruciatingly painful, but I said as little as I could because I desperately wanted to see my boy. He was hooked up to a bunch of machines which kept beeping. I could hardly see him through my choked back tears. The next day and a half are a bit of a blur. Francis spent a lot of time in the NICU and I went as often as I could physically bear. Andrew's X-ray showed fluid in his lungs and a cloud which could indicate pneumonia. The put him on antibiotics while waiting for his blood-work to come back. It was possible the fluid would be absorbed on his own. This was our hope. By evening time Andrew had to be put on oxygen because his levels were below an acceptable rate. One more tube... He couldn't eat due to risk of aspiration, so they had him hooked up to an IV. I had to pump to try to get my milk supply started in hopes that he would soon be able to eat. time stood still and yet passed in the blink of an eye. I did have a lot of visitors to keep me company. I am so thankful for these amazing ladies, because without them I would have been left to my thoughts while Francis was away. They all were truly sent from God in my time of need. The only other bright spot was that since is was Summer time (and not flu season), the older three kids were able to visit Andrew in the NICU. This made the kids happy and brought me comfort too. Finally on Monday we turned a corner. He was taken off oxygen and the fluid in his lungs was starting to clear. He was able to take some of my milk from a bottle. By Monday evening he was even able to nurse! I thought we were finally getting out of here. I was half right....
Monday I was discharged, but Francis and I were allowed to stay in our room to "board" until they needed the room or Andrew was released. We got the news that they wanted to keep Andrew another night, but that he should be released in the morning. Finally! I was disappointed not to leave Monday, but glad to see an end in sight. His breathing was within normal range and he didn't need the heat lamp anymore. My big guy!
Through all of this my mother-in-law was watching my kids. She is amazing! She took them to church, to Altitude trampoline park, to McDonald's, to Chick-fil-a and to so many other fun places I don't even know about. While I know my kids missed me, they were not lacking in love or attention. It's a debt I can never repay and I am truly grateful.
Tuesday morning dawned, but not how I expected. When I went down to the NICU to nurse Andrew, I saw him under the photo-therapy lights and my heart sank. Sure enough, Andrew now had jaundice. We weren't going home after all. The all too familiar feeling of hot tears streamed down my face. I was so tired. So ready to be home. So...done. After an exam by the doctor before noon, he gave us some good news. Andrew could be taken off all of the tubes. This meant he could join us in one of the NICU transition rooms. We were going to be with our baby boy again! Transition rooms look a bit like a hotel room with a queen bed, TV and bathroom, but have all the hook ups for babies so their beds can be in there with the parents. The rooms are located in the NICU so the nurses can come and check on the babies and give them medication/exams as needed. He had to stay under the photo lights unless he was nursing, but at least he was within arm's reach. We spent the night with this arrangement and despite the joy with Andrew being near, it was far from easy. Andrew hated the lights and kept ripping the masks used to protect his eyes. He was either nursing or screaming (the banshee scream is what the nurses called it), but I stayed strong in hopes home was on the horizon. It was. The next morning his bilirubin was down and they turned off the lights. My mother came Tuesday night to relieve my mother-in-law, and she and the kids came to get us around lunch time so we could go home. 5 days in the NICU were enough. We were getting out of there! I laughed and cried happy tears on our 3 minute drive home. the house, which I had only seen for a brief moment in two weeks looked like heaven. We made it. Home.
This is probably it for today but I will try to post about our time at home soon.
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